Judge Her Fairly Sister

I was going to name this “Sister I’m Sorry” or “I’m Sorry Sister” but try as I might, the words were not coming to me. So the title that best fit what I was trying to say was, “Judge Her Fairly Sister”. The reason behind this is because women can say I love you and really say it with passion but I find myself asking if they really mean it. I can only speak on this from a sister to sister point of view so sorry fellas if you feel left out, we will speak on that another time.

We sing songs to say “I Need You, You Need Me, We’re All a Part of God’s Body”…and it is a beautiful song but are we even living what we are singing? In this day and time we really and truly need each other as women. We understand how one another feels and we understand how we think. Believe it or not we all think alike so why can’t we feel one another’s pain or carry one another’s burdens? The word says in Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Don’t you know to this also means to sustain, uphold or support. Some scholars would say to take up in order to carry one’s self. Basically it all means the same thing. We are to carry one another, no matter what the cost, no matter what the issue. The reason is because we are supposed to understand what we as woman are going through.

I think our problem is that we don’t think about how we judge, the word never said do not judge as a matter of fact is says that we ought to, but….it says in Leviticus 9:15 “Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly”, which to me would mean that we are to love anyway no matter the clothes she wears, the way she speaks or how she is carrying herself. Love her first to know how to fairly judge her. You would be surprised what you find out. You may be surprised to find out what she has been through. But in actuality the surprise comes when you find out that she comes very close to you and what you have been through.

It just may be that her secret is out and yours isn’t. Doesn’t the word say in Matthew 7:4 “Or how can you say to your sister, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?” I’m trying to help you love your sister more. See her from another perspective. See her from yours. Look at her and think to yourself, it could be me or it was me. I’m just trying to help you love your sister more.

I have often heard us say, when it comes to certain issues, hmmm let me pick a subject, Men….”She’s stupid, why would she go back to him after that, why she let him treat her that way”. Why did you? What were you thinking at the time of “stuck on stupid”. She needs to know that you actually went through the same thing, She needs to know that you came out of it and most of all she needs to know how you came out of it. Judge her fairly Sister.

Let’s pick another subject…the clothes she wears. “Why don’t she fix her hair”, “She say she wants a husband but she can’t get one dressed like that”. Did you give her clothes to wear or pay to get her hair done or if you know how, did you offer to do it? Did you take the time out to help her dress herself? It may be that she was never taught or no one ever told her that she was truly a beautiful sister. When I was in high school, I had a Fashion teacher. She was not a pretty woman by any means, She was sloo-footed, with eyes like a fish but she carried herself with poise and glamour, always dressed to the tee, you would have thought she was a supermodel. She never raised her voice and was always kind and always told us how beautiful we were. To this day I believe she was one of the most beautiful women I knew. Judge her fairly Sister.

This is a great subject...the amount of children she has…”You mean she has four kids and no daddy?”, “You mean she got pregnant at 16?”. I mean she got caught and you didn’t. Do you mean you never had sex until you were married, you never had a miscarriage, you never had an abortion or abortionsssss? How far away is she from you Sister? How far away is she from the way you think? You were ecstatic when that man asked you to marry him and in some cases you were already married, but it just was not the case with her, maybe he did not ask. Is that her fault, in a way yes, but the point is, how far away is she from you? How far away is her thinking from yours.

Just remember this thought, “I need you, you need me, we’re all a part of God’s Body” We need each other, so judge her fairly Sister and Sister, I’m sorry if I didn’t and I find myself loving you a little more.

"I'll Trust You Lord"

There is a song out named “I’ll Trust You Lord” by Donnie McClurkin and in the lyrics it says:

What if it hurts? (I'll trust You, Lord)What if you cry? (I'll trust You, Lord)What if it doesn't work out the first time that you try? (I'll trust You, Lord).

I have thought about this song over and over again in my mind because I have recently come to a place in my life when I am truly hurting and in a lot of pain, I have come to a place in my life that I feel that if I don’t cry I will burst and I have tried to step out on faith to only come to this hurt and pain. I have realized at this point is when I am in the refiners fire, fire never feels good, there is always pain, hurt and crying when you are being molded and shaped into something new.

I know that I am being made new and it is making me question what God is doing, this is making me ask why I have to go through this, didn’t you promise me a change, a better life new friends new love God? We talked about this, over and over, at least I did. You told me that you would give me the desires of my heart. I asked for people that could teach me something new, I asked for people that surround me love like I love, with their whole heart, I asked for friends to be there when I need them and I asked for a person that I would be able to call my best friend as well as my husband (if it be in your will).

I am trying to do this thing right this time, why is it that I do not see the results? I hear God saying to me, “Daughter, the reason why you cannot see the results is because the results are not familiar to you” You are used to your life going through the same routines, day in and day out, you are used to being the teacher instead of learning to be still enough to be taught and you now have friends from everywhere in all walks of life that you can call on and they will be willing and able to be there. And as far as the husband that I have here waiting for you, you must first learn what being a friend is about.

Wow God, thank you for laying this out for me, this brings me to another part of the song:

Will you let go? (I'll trust you, Lord)Will you stand on My word? (I'll trust you, Lord) Against all odds will you believe what I have said? (I'll trust You, Lord)
Will I let go? In order to trust God to do the things that I requested I have to let go of my past, my past thinking, my past way of life everything that was familiar to me will not be the same.

Will I stand on his word? If he said it then that settles it. God is still God and when he moves it is within his time and in his way, we don’t recognize it because of the unfamiliar patterns of our everyday life or our because of our past.

Against All Odds will you believe what I’ve said? Sometimes we cannot see our head above the water, we still feel like we are drowning and it seems as if what God said will not come to pass because we are too busy wondering how he’s going to do it or how he’s going to fix it because the odds are against our situation. But yet….

I have to trust him, I have to believe what he said his word will not come back void, it cannot because the word says in Numbers 23:19 “God [is] not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do [it]? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?. With that being said, “I’ll Trust You Lord”.

Happy Father's Day

I titled this “Happy Father’s Day” for a reason. Have you ever paid attention to how little attention we pay to Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day in our society? We all know the reasons why. Usually it is because the mother’s are known for pulling most of the load. But we spend lots of money on that day and we go to church on that day…But we could also do those same things on Father’s Day as well, it lands on a Sunday too.

But we have to give honor to the Fathers that are still out there being the father’s they are supposed to be. And in some cases we have to let them be the fathers that they want to be (ladies). Let me help you understand what I mean…In some cases women feel that a father is not being a father unless he is actually in the home doing what she is doing. To her that is what help is all about. I understand the fantasy but that is all it is a fantasy. We have to move beyond the fantasy into reality, for the sake of the children.

We do have some fathers out there that really want to be just that, a father. Not a husband, boyfriend or significant other, just a father. Just because he was not that good of a mate for you does not mean they will not be a good father. Trust me, I know, I have a great one myself but my mother would tell you he was not that great a husband, doesn’t matter to me that was between them, I love them both the same. But I love them both. Have you ever noticed that the word never mentions Parent as a singular noun, no not once, if it is in there then show me.

I guess my point is, that we need to allow them to be the Great Fathers that they truly want to be (if it is in them) and I stress if it is in them because in order to be a father you have to also be present as a father. It is not about just paying child support because the word says in 2Corinthians12:14 “Now I am coming to you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you. I don't want what you have; I want you. And anyway, little children don't pay for their parents' food. It's the other way around; parents supply food for their children.” In other words child support is something you have to do but it goes hand in hand with taking that time out to be with your child. The word never mentions a child without a father unless the mother is a widow. Which means while you are still breathing you are to be there in their life.

This is the part of love that we need to understand, we have heard that there are different kinds of love, but in the Greek love actually means AGAPE and in the Hebrew it means Abigail which also translates as “my father is joy.” Hence the reason why scripture describes God as purely LOVE. So if we are made in the image of God and are to do likewise shouldn’t we be the joy of our children? Someone they can look up to and admire and want to be like?

A child wants to know who they look like, who they talk like why the think the way they do. How better to answer these questions than to simply be there. I have 2 little girls and when I am in the mirror putting on my make-up they watch my every move, when I am brushing my teeth, they watch my every move, when I am putting on my stockings they are watching my every move, but guess what, when I am not paying attention they are watching my every move…In Deuteronomy 4:9 it says “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Now back to the fathers that do have the opportunity and have taken on that roll with vigor, I say HAPPY FATHER’S DAY from this day forward! Thank you for being, great, kind, loving, giving and awesome. If no one has ever said thank you for being a great father, I will tell you. Thank you from me to you and I pray that every day is a Happy Father’s Day!